This was the worst day of my life. It was a Monday morning, your Aunt Kim
and Uncle Richard came to the house early that day. I thought it strange
because they never come over that early. I'll never forget the looks on their
faces as I came out the door. Aunt Kim told me to sit down, I thougt something
had happened to grandpa. She told me there had been an accident, that it was
you. Then she told me you were gone. I don't remember much after that but as
the day went on, I finally was told that you had taken your own life. I didn't believe
them as I knew you would not do that to me. Even after an inquest, I still didn't believe
it. My heart just would not accept that you would do that. I thought someone had done
something to you. It's now been almost 4 years and now I realize that you felt you had
no choice. This life here was just to hard for you. I wish there was something I could have
done for you. I wish you would have talked to me and told me how you felt. I miss you more
than I ever thought possible. My life will never be the same again. I hope you have found
peace and happiness that you couldn't find here. I love you Joshua, more than life itself.
You will always be my little boy. Forever in my heart son.
Love, your mom
