I know that you and I were not as close as you and the twins, or even Matt and Mike... But I was the little girl running around family events that the boys didn't talk to, But you always made a point to say hi to me. I always felt a connection to you Joshy.. you always made me feel welcome. The last time I saw you, we were at Hey Brian's. We had some drinks together and planned on going to the bar again sometime.
The morning I got the call from my mom about what had happened... well, I know we weren't as close as you and the twins, but I will never forget that phone call, as will no one else in our family. I was asleep and my mom called and told me what happened. I cried at that moment more than I think I ever have.
Something that I think will haunt me forever, is the fact that, just the night before, I was depressed and sad, and.. well, I felt like I had no where to turn and all sorts of thoughts were going through my mind.. and when I woke up the next day, I got the news of what happened to you... and it all made me sad and scared.. scared because I can still to this day tell you how I was feeling that night and I feel like maybe we were feeling similar emotions, at the same time that night... It was almost the both of us Josh. I never told anyone in the family...
I know this may not mean much now, and I wish I would have told you this when I had the chance, but I would have done anything for you... anything.. and I love you joshy... I hope you are happy. Your Mom sure misses you! And so does the rest of your family and friends.
Love,
your cousin stephy